Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Let the hilarity and sheer luck begin!

I suck at drops.


I am 0 of any number of kills on various NMs. O Kotes, Assault Jerkins, you name it. I went 1 of 50 on Lizzy. JEJ still hasn't given me crap. And I have a single piece of Relic, when all the other BLMs on shell have 3-4 because the stuff never drops when I attend.

So I had random drops. Just to preface the insanity to come.

So I am staying up on my overnight, Tuesday, prior to, well, tonight when I've made this flurry of posts. I stay up the full night before because I need to sleep during the day. I normally wind up soloing BST. I love BST. I love the fact that I can get as much EXP alone as an entire party could get me in the same length of time. And as I go through this...

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Level 60. My third over that mark. O M F G! I still lack full AF, but I look damn sweet in my woolly items thus far. I'm a happy camper, in all senses of the word.

Then, I'm talking with my good friend Hamburlgar on WoA. He mentioned that we should go in to Phomiuna Aqueducts and get me a subligar for my Gaudy Harness. I'm game, so we head on in. I have a limited amount of time left to do this, because it's nearing the time I would normally strongly consider sleeping.

We head to Tavnazian Safehold after gearing up, and head into the zone. Now, for those not familiar with the Aqueducts, let me paint you a picture. It's cramped, tight tunnels that open into larger rooms. It's filled with fomors, undead who will aggro to health, and who you gather hate similar to Tonberries. Except their hate makes them want to kill you more. It's also filled with Taurus... es. Tauri? Anyway, not Tarutarus, dinosaurs. these nasty things are true sight, and guard pretty much every major intersection.

Oh, did I mention it's a capped 40 zone?

Yea, not my idea of a fun time either.

So we go in there, and after a few minutes of running about, Ham finds our prey: Fomor Beastmasters. See, the fomors use our same jobs, so if you need the armor for your job, you have to kill those of the same job. The way BSTs do it is by charming VT slimes, and using our 2 hour to hold them for the full 30 minutes. The slimes kill mobs, we get the drop and we bounce.

Simple. Except these use bats for pets, and there are IT bats mixed in. And that in order to have that pet, you have to dodge by true sight Taurus mobs who con as IT++. Ham then tells me "I hope you are luckier than me, I went 1/13 on this." Oh, did I mention that the notorious monster Eba was up too?

Fucking great, another rare drop. Lovely, just lovely. I hate drops that are random and rare. I can just see us biting it hard and getting nothing. So Ham pulls, gets a link. I hold my pet off till we're clear of more links and sick it on the Beastmaster. Ham, using jugs, watches his pet die. We kill the pet, and focus on the BST. We kill.

It drops.

I stare blankly at my screen. Literally I was stunned into silence in real life, and in the game. A relatively rare drop, hard to reach, and far from ideal conditions. Ham looks at the drop, and says "I fucking hate you". I laugh in real life, lot my prize and we try for a NIN one for him. My pet's near dead, and I don't have cookies to regen him. No drop, but Ham's not upset. (I will drag him back there and we can try this again. I want to see him get his NIN item <3).

We head out, and part of the way there Ham gets aggro from a Taurus. I sick my nearly dead slime on it and we run for our lives. We escape, and head back to Tavnazian safehold. Then I noticed what I got.

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Panties. Frilly, lacy, girlie panties. You must be kidding me. YOU MUST BE! Now, as you can see, Tarus are short. They are very child like. Hamburglar is a hume, and ironically blond. Fatigue, overjoyed excitement, and my twisted sense of humor led to...

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Ham will never forget helping me, that's for damn sure. So, anyway, we head to Bastok to pick up my harness. Well damned if I never completed step one. And now I need a pyro robe and linen slacks. Ham can get the slacks. But the pyro robe is found in chests. In Garliage. Only. And there's none on AH.


So I head to Garliage, forsaking sleep for the moment. I am so close, and I need to have this now. Problem is that now I am stuck at Garliage, at the door you need 4 people to open. And I'm alone. Ham needed to get going on his own stuff, and I would have felt crappy asking him to come. So, just as I am about to logout, Mrscoot and Chiller log on. They actually asked me if I wanted help with my Ostroja key. Which totally shock the shit out of me. I hadn't anticipated that. I really don't know them overly well, but... wow. I explained the situation, and then... they just came to help!

No thought of a reward, just coming to help me get through the doors. With their help and the appearance of a random taru at the gate, we got in. Then I realized that Chiller is taking a major risk here. He's my level, 60. He could easily get killed back here. I know, I'm a 75BLM, I know his armor is akin to wet toilet paper. Yet they stick with me till I get to where I intend on logging. I suggest they book out of there before this goes bad. They do, and are safely away.

I can't help but kill a few mobs. It's my nature. I like killing mobs as BST. So, as I am going around, trying to get a key... I see it. A chest, right there, right now. So now I start slaughtering with vigor. I want a key now. I want this, and while there's no telling of the chest contains what I want, I need to try.

I get a key. I pop it.

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This is me 10 minutes or so later wearing my prize. My sincere thanks to Hamburglar, Mrscoot, and Chiller. Your help is greatly appreciated!

Oh, and one last lulz compliments of Brygid:
The aroma...

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